HOW TO ASK HER

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This Was The Hard Part

I’m going to be honest, talking to your significant other about this is a tough milestone to overcome. As comfortable as you are with him/her, there will always be a looming thought that they will reject you and make you feel foolish for requesting something that goes against the grain of society. I want to be very transparent and give you a candid look into how I introduced this lifestyle into our lives. First of all do your homework. I intend on gathering all of the best information on this lifestyle and compressing it into this blog… so stick with me while I get my a** in gear. I searched for an all inclusive blog or website that truly showed what and why the male chastity lifestyle was what it was. Over and over again I found porn blogs and “Penis-centric” websites that bastardized the lifestyle and drew all of the attention away from the real reason for chastity, which is LOVE, ADORATION, COMMITMENT AND PASSION. Here is the actual message that I sent (B) about my desires and my explanation for wanting to get into this lifestyle:

“…My natural biological desire is to have sex with you and have an orgasm. I can’t abstain from that desire or action on my own. The cage prevents that. 

If I were left to my own devices, I would find a way to achieve that goal. What happens when that goal is achieved, is that:

  1. My sexual attention is either directed at self pleasure or trying to do something to be allowed to have sex with you. 
  2. It takes time for those hormones to re-build to the point they were before an orgasm, and the attentiveness and desire to connect with you on a sensual and emotional level is lessened until that buildup reaches its peak. 

My orgasms shouldn’t be because I did “enough” to deserve it or I “earned” it. They should be either because it gives you pleasure to make that happen or as a maintenance for my hormone levels. 

-an example of maintenance would be, allowing me to masturbate after having sex (because you wanted sex) so that I can calm down enough to get back in to my cage. 

-an example of doing it for your pleasure would be if you wanted to feel me have an orgasm inside you. 

I always naturally want to be affectionate and sweet and loving to you. Your control over the situation heightens that natural desire to do that. It heightens it to the maximum potential. 

Teasing reminds me that you’re in control and my job is to seek your satisfaction in every way possible . 

You are in control. Why? 

  1. You are strong and powerful
  2. Your sexual wellbeing is more important to me than my own.

What’s in it for you

  1. Security 
  2. Trust building 
  3. No pressure to be physical 
  4. No guilt when you’re not physical
  5. My redirected sexual energy focused on your other needs
  6. Opportunity to assert dominance (you may not know it but you are a very dominant person)
  7. Pleasure on your schedule 

What’s in it for me

  1. Less guilt about wasted sexual energy
  2. More focus and determination 
  3. Feeling secure 
  4. Satisfying desire for compersion
  5. Getting to admire you without being driven by sex drive only

From my POV

  1. My orgasms don’t happen anymore ever
  2. My focus is on your comfort/pleasure/security/relaxation/mental clarity/Love for you

From your POV

  1. Sex- When, where, why, how, with whom is your decision. (You need not worry about what I “want”
  2. Your focus is on what you want based on how you’re feeling, not based on what you think my expectation would be. 

My happiness – Getting to serve your needs and being shown appreciation by you acknowledging the control that you have.

Your happiness – having an emotionally connected and present man. No expectation or pressure for you to reciprocate with sex. Freedom to have whatever pleasure you desire on demand on your timeline.

How it’s achieved 

Me: Abstain from any orgasms until you deem appropriate. Focus my sexual energy on love and adoration.

You: make expectations clear and concise, so I can take care of your needs. Keep me on a hypothetical leash with teasing, orgasm control and dominance 

Feel free to plagiarize this and make it your own. She/he needs to know that you interested in this lifestyle for her benefit. Forget what you have seen on those damn porn blogs. She’s not going to become a leather clad dominatrix over night or possibly ever. If you truly care about your significant other and you truly want to give all of your sexuality to her/him. Lock it up and make sure he/she understands why. Go forward and LOCK ON!

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